On March 23rd, 2026, Bryan Johnson — the centimillionaire biohacker who spends $2 million a year on his Blueprint longevity protocol — livestreamed himself taking 5-MeO-DMT to nearly 700,000 people on X. It was the latest in a series of psychedelic experiments that began with a psilocybin livestream in December 2025, and it may turn out to be one of the most consequential moments in psychedelic awareness this decade.

His first words after returning from the experience: “The preciousness of our existences is unfathomable.”

Within days, interest in 5-MeO-DMT retreats surged. We started getting inquiries from people who had never considered psychedelics before — executives, health optimisers, professionals who follow Johnson’s Blueprint protocol and trust his judgement. One told me this week: “I saw the video and thought — I need to experience that.”

I understand the impulse. And I think Bryan Johnson did something genuinely valuable. He brought mainstream visibility to a molecule — sometimes called the “God molecule” — that has been quietly changing lives in small ceremony rooms around the world for years. He approached it with curiosity, submitted to the experience rather than trying to control it, and spoke honestly about what happened.

But I’ve been facilitating 5-MeO-DMT ceremonies for years, and there’s something important in his story that almost nobody is talking about.

What Made Bryan Johnson’s 5-MeO-DMT Experience Safe

Bryan Johnson didn’t just walk into a room and inhale a molecule. He walked in as arguably the most physically optimised human being on the planet. Five years of data-driven health protocol. Hundreds of biomarkers tracked daily. Sleep optimised. Inflammation managed. Gut microbiome monitored. Nervous system resilient from years of deliberate body work.

He also walked in with psychological awareness. He’s spoken publicly about his past depression, his divorce, his relationship with the need for control. He’s done therapy. He sat with psilocybin before, in a monitored setting where his brain was being imaged with a Kernel device. He already had a tattoo of the 5-MeO-DMT molecular structure on his forearm — this wasn’t a first encounter with the compound.

And he walked in with professional support. Two experienced facilitators at the Enfold retreat centre. His partner beside him. A medical context. A team that could hold the container if something went sideways.

Bryan Johnson was running this psychedelic experiment on a stable system. Body regulated. Nervous system resilient. Psychological history at least partially processed. Support infrastructure in place.

That’s not where most people start.

What 5-MeO-DMT Actually Does to the Brain

5-MeO-DMT (5-methoxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine) is often called the most powerful psychedelic in existence. That’s not marketing — it’s pharmacology.

The compound acts primarily as a potent agonist at serotonin 5-HT₁A and 5-HT₂A receptors, flooding these receptor sites within seconds of inhalation. A 2026 study published in Communications Biology found that 5-MeO-DMT induces a dissociated brain state characterised by prominent slow oscillations in the cortex — the brain enters a pattern that looks like deep sleep even while the person is behaviourally awake.

What this means in practice is a rapid and often total disruption of the default mode network (DMN) — the brain’s self-referential circuitry that maintains your sense of identity, your internal narrative, and your sense of being a separate self. A systematic review of 28 neuroimaging studies confirmed that psychedelics consistently decrease connectivity within the DMN while increasing connections between the DMN and other brain networks, creating a more flexible, less rigid brain state.

This is what neuroscientists mean by “ego dissolution” — and it’s what Johnson described when he said the experience forced him to release all attachments, all desire for control, before the terror transformed into what he called indescribable bliss.

The neuroplasticity angle is real, too. Research shows that 5-MeO-DMT promotes structural neural plasticity in brain tissue, increasing dendritic spine growth — the physical connections between neurons. A 2025 randomised controlled trial found that 5-MeO-DMT produced sustained remission in 78% of treatment-resistant depression patients at six months, with lasting reductions in pro-inflammatory cytokines and increases in brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). The FDA has granted breakthrough therapy designation to BPL-003, an intranasal 5-MeO-DMT formulation developed by Beckley Psytech, for treatment-resistant depression.

So Johnson’s framing of 5-MeO-DMT as a longevity tool with neuroplasticity benefits isn’t wrong. The science supports it. But the science also tells us something else — something he didn’t need to say, because it didn’t apply to him.

What Happens When the Nervous System Isn’t Stable

Here’s what Johnson himself described during his 5-MeO-DMT experience: his ego resisted. He felt panic. He had to surrender completely — release every attachment and every desire for control — before the experience shifted from terror to bliss.

Now imagine that same moment — that panic, that overwhelming loss of control — happening inside a nervous system that’s already dysregulated. A body running on cortisol from years of burnout. A mind carrying unprocessed grief, or childhood trauma that’s never been named. A person who has spent decades performing competence while something underneath has been slowly unravelling.

The molecule doesn’t care what you came for. You may have come for neuroplasticity. It may hand you your mother.

This is not a theoretical concern. I’ve sat with hundreds of people through psychedelic experiences — with ayahuasca, psilocybin, San Pedro, and 5-MeO-DMT — and the single most important predictor of whether someone has an integrable experience is not the medicine, not the dose, not the setting. It’s the state of their nervous system when they arrive.

A dysregulated nervous system — one stuck in fight, flight, or freeze — doesn’t have the capacity to process what 5-MeO-DMT opens up. The experience can feel not like ego dissolution but like annihilation. Not like bliss but like psychosis. Not like a reset but like a destabilisation that takes weeks or months to recover from.

This is the gap between Bryan Johnson’s 5-MeO-DMT experience and what the average person inspired by his livestream might encounter. He had years of preparation built into his life. Most of the people now searching “is 5-MeO-DMT safe” do not.

The Preparation Work That Doesn’t Make for a Good Livestream

When someone contacts us about a 5-MeO-DMT ceremony, my first question is not “when are you available?” It’s “have you done any inner work before?” Not because there’s a right answer, but because the answer shapes everything that follows.

Proper 5-MeO-DMT preparation means medical screening — checking for contraindications including SSRI and MAOI interactions, cardiovascular conditions, bipolar spectrum history, and medications that interact dangerously with tryptamines. It means a conversation about what you’re actually carrying, not just what you think you want to let go of.

It also means nervous system work. Learning to regulate before you deregulate. Breathwork. Somatic practices. Understanding — in your body, not just intellectually — the difference between feeling safe and being safe.

And it means integration planning. What happens in the days and weeks after the experience matters more than the experience itself. Who will you talk to? What practices will you use? What support structure exists when the insights start fading and the old patterns start pulling you back?

None of this is glamorous. None of it fits into a 30-second clip. But it’s the difference between a 5-MeO-DMT experience you can integrate into lasting change and one that destabilises you.

This is why experienced psychologists who commented on Johnson’s livestream urged caution. Dr. Joseph Barsuglia called Johnson’s combined dose — 18mg inhaled plus 9mg injected — “a megadose with unproven safety” and warned that people copying the approach could be severely harmed. Dr. Bianca Sebben emphasised the principle of starting “low and slow” with such an intense compound.

What’s Already Working

I want to be clear: this is not a critique of Bryan Johnson. I genuinely believe his psychedelic livestream advanced the conversation. And this is not a complaint about the state of the psychedelic therapy field. There are serious, skilled practitioners doing extraordinary work around the world — quietly, without livestreams, with small groups and deep care.

I’m writing this because the conversation right now is dominated by spectacle on one end and horror stories on the other. There’s a vast, quiet middle — facilitators who screen properly, who prepare people physiologically and psychologically, who hold space with skill, and who follow up after the experience to help people integrate what they found.

In our work at Vine of the Soul Retreats in Portugal’s Algarve, 5-MeO-DMT is not the starting point. It’s something we offer within a larger container — after screening, after preparation, and often after a person has already sat with other medicines that build capacity first. Ayahuasca does deep clearing work — what I sometimes call the spring cleaning of the psyche. Psilocybin opens perspective and emotional flexibility. San Pedro grounds and stabilises. Each medicine has a different therapeutic character, and the sequence matters.

We built our approach around the BioPsyche Renewal Protocol — a three-phase framework (Stabilize → Illuminate → Embody) specifically designed for the reality that lasting transformation requires nervous system regulation alongside inner work. Integration cannot happen without a stable physiological foundation.

When someone does sit with 5-MeO-DMT in this context, the experience is held — not just during the ceremony, but before and after. They have tools. They have community. They have a framework for making sense of what happened, including an AI-powered integration app that provides micro-practices, grounding tools, and reflective prompts in the weeks that follow.

This is what we’re already doing well as a field, in the places where psychedelic therapy is practised responsibly. It’s not as dramatic as a livestream. But it works. And it works precisely because it takes the things that made Bryan Johnson’s 5-MeO-DMT experience safe — physical readiness, psychological awareness, skilled facilitation, and integration — and makes them accessible to people who haven’t spent five years and $2 million preparing.

The Question Worth Asking

If you watched Bryan Johnson’s psychedelic livestream and something in you stirred — good. Pay attention to that. It might be the beginning of something genuinely important.

But before you search for “5-MeO-DMT retreat” and book the first thing that comes up, ask yourself a harder question: Am I ready for what this molecule might bring up?

Not “am I brave enough.” Bravery isn’t the issue. The issue is whether your nervous system, your psychological foundation, and your support structure are in a state where this experience will be integrable rather than destabilising.

If you’re not sure, that’s not a reason to wait forever. It’s a reason to prepare properly. Talk to a facilitator who will be honest with you — including honest enough to tell you if now isn’t the right time, or if a gentler medicine might be a better starting point. A good facilitator doesn’t sell you an experience. They help you decide if you’re ready for one.

The most powerful psychedelic in the world deserves the most careful preparation. Bryan Johnson had that, whether he framed it that way or not.

You deserve it too.

About the Author

Bianca Diana Stumm is the founder of Vine of the Soul Retreats, a trauma-informed psychedelic retreat centre in Portugal’s Algarve serving guests from across Europe and beyond. She is a certified RTT therapist, hypnotherapist, and human potential coach who has facilitated ceremonies for 800+ guests across ayahuasca, psilocybin, San Pedro, and 5-MeO-DMT (Bufo Alvarius). She developed the BioPsyche Renewal Protocol, a three-phase framework for lasting transformation that bridges nervous system science with psychedelic-assisted therapy. Her approach draws on 20 years in enterprise consulting (SAP, Oracle, Microsoft Dynamics) and firsthand experience of the healing these medicines can offer when held properly.

Further Reading

• 5-MeO-DMT Retreat Portugal — Vine of the Soul Retreats — ceremony format, screening, and what to expect
• Bufo Alvarius & 5-MeO-DMT — Knowledge Base — deeper dive into history, pharmacology, ethics, and safety
• BioPsyche Renewal Protocol — the Stabilize → Illuminate → Embody framework
• Psychedelic-Assisted Therapies — overview of evidence-based psychedelic therapy approaches

If you’re considering 5-MeO-DMT or any psychedelic experience and want to talk it through honestly, set up a screening call.

I want to start with an admission: I admired these people.

Aubrey Marcus built something rare — a platform where vulnerability, masculinity, and genuine spiritual seeking could coexist. I respected that. I’ve read the books, followed the journey, and even attended the Eros Mystery School in person. I went as someone genuinely curious, genuinely open.

So this isn’t a takedown. It’s not a culture war shot from someone who never engaged with the ideas. It’s a reflection from someone who did engage — and came away with questions that nobody else in this conversation seems to be asking.

Everyone has an opinion on the Aubrey-Vylana-Alana throuple. The internet has taken sides on whether polyamory is valid, whether “Radical Monogamy” is a meaningful term or a contradiction, whether spiritual relationships can transcend conventional structures.

What I haven’t seen — in any of the think pieces, the podcast responses, the social media debates — is anyone asking the obvious question:

What about the children?

The Conversation We’re Not Having

I work with adults. Trauma-informed psychedelic-assisted therapy, nervous system regulation, deep integration work. And what I see, day after day, are grown people metabolising the consequences of their childhood environments. Not just the dramatic ones — abuse, neglect, violence. The quieter ones. The divided loyalties. The sense that they had to compete for a parent’s attention. The confusion of never quite knowing which version of “family” was the real one.

I am also a mother. Of twins. I make mistakes — probably every day. I like to joke that I’m saving for the therapist while other parents save for college. So I’m humble about the fact that most parents have the best of intentions… and they still fail.

What the Science Says — Clearly and Without Apology

Children don’t understand sacred union, soul contracts, or womb alchemy. They understand who is tucking them in at night. Whether their parent is present or distracted. Whether they have to compete for love.

The developmental psychology on this is not ambiguous. John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth’s foundational work on attachment theory — confirmed and extended by decades of subsequent research — shows that children thrive when they have:

• Secure attachment to primary caregivers
• Predictable, consistent emotional responses
• Clear boundaries modeled and respected
• Freedom from triangulation and adult emotional complexity

A 2010 study by Beebe et al. found that the quality of caregiver interaction at four months predicts attachment security at twelve months. Not years later — months. The nervous system is forming its map of the world that early. It is logging: am I safe? am I seen? is love reliable?

A 2020 meta-analysis in Health Psychology Review confirmed that secure attachment in committed relationships correlates with better immune function, longer life expectancy, and greater stress resilience in adults. We are still living out what happened to us before we could talk.

There is little to no scientific evidence that three-parent romantic configurations — particularly volatile or evolving ones — offer equivalent attachment security for children. What research exists on communal and experimental family structures points toward a consistent pattern: complexity, divided loyalties, and emotional instability in the caregiving environment create lasting imprints on developing nervous systems.

This isn’t conservative moral panic. This is developmental biology.

“Ayahuasca Told Me…” — and Other Dangerous Absolutes

Now we get to the part I’m uniquely positioned to speak to.

I’ve heard the phrase “Ayahuasca told me…” or “Spirit told me…” or “The Goddess told me…” more times than I can count. Often from people still in the radiance of ceremony, still metabolising an experience that hasn’t been integrated. Still confusing intensity for truth.

I’ve been in that loop myself. And I paid the price.

Psychedelic experiences can carry profound personal revelation. I believe this deeply — it’s the foundation of my work. But these insights are starting points for reflection, not permission slips for radical life changes that affect others. Especially children.

The medicine shows us our fears and our deepest desires. It speaks in symbols, in longing, in the language of the psyche. Without grounded integration, what we receive in ceremony is raw material — not instruction.

This brings me to Abraham.

In one of the Aubrey Marcus podcasts, Marc Gafni references the story of Abraham and Isaac — God commanding Abraham to sacrifice his son — as a parable about learning to distinguish the authentic inner voice from external authority. It’s actually a profound psychological point. Jung explored the same territory in Answer to Job — the question of how we relate to a God we’ve created in our own image, how we find moral autonomy without simply inverting one authority for another.

I love this framing. I think it’s genuinely important work.

But here’s the contradiction that troubles me: if the lesson of Abraham is don’t follow divine commands blindly, find your own authentic voice — then why is “Ayahuasca told me” being treated as an absolute? Why is Spirit’s instruction to restructure your family, have children within an experimental container, redefine monogamy — why is that different from the command Abraham questioned?

Abraham, in the end, didn’t sacrifice his son.

The whole point of the story, psychologically, is that we must find the internal authority mature enough to say: no. Not this. Not my child.

What I Witnessed in Person

When I attended the Eros Mystery School, I came as an admirer. I came open.

What I witnessed in the throuple dynamic live was different from the curated narrative. The tension was palpable. The undercurrents were difficult to ignore. Whatever the public story, the energetic reality felt strained — still very much in process, unresolved, alive with friction that hadn’t found ground yet.

I wouldn’t want to raise children inside that atmosphere. Not because friction is wrong — friction is human — but because children shouldn’t be holding the emotional charge of adults who are still figuring out the shape of their own container.

The Influence Problem

To their credit, the trio has been careful to say they are not recommending this as a model for others — only that it’s what feels true for them. I respect that nuance.

And still: when you have millions of followers, a charismatic platform, and the language of spiritual evolution wrapped around your personal choices, your life becomes an implicit recommendation whether you intend it or not. Influence carries responsibility. And I’m not convinced that responsibility is being held with the depth it deserves.

“Radical Monogamy” as a term for a triad dynamic is — let’s be honest — linguistic acrobatics. Monogamy means one. When we start coining phrases that make contradictions sound enlightened, we’re not evolving. We’re bypassing.

We’ve Seen This Before

This is not a new story.

From Osho to Keith Raniere to Father Divine, spiritual leaders have used elevated language and mystical frameworks to justify multiple partners, scattered families, and catastrophic consequences for the children raised within those systems. The adults who grew up in these environments — I’ve sat with some of them — carry wounds that are remarkably consistent: confusion, divided loyalties, emotional neglect wrapped in the language of freedom.

This isn’t theoretical. These are real people with real damage.

The trappings change. The neuroscience doesn’t.

The Real Question

So the debate isn’t really is polyamory valid? For consenting adults, navigating their own nervous systems, their own attachment wounds, their own lives — that’s a conversation worth having.

The question is: Are we willing to use our children as the test subjects in our spiritual experiments?

In a world already overwhelmed with insecure attachment, abandonment wounds, and children exposed to adult emotional complexity before they have the developmental resources to metabolise it — are we helping or harming when we build family systems that defy everything we know about what children actually need?

This isn’t about shaming desire. It’s about remembering what’s sacred.

And sometimes what’s most sacred isn’t the ecstatic edge of personal transformation. Sometimes it’s the quiet, unsexy, deeply regulated consistency that helps a young soul feel safe enough to become themselves.

So by all means — evolve your love. Explore your edges. Heal your wounds. Use the medicine. Find your authentic voice.

But if you’re going to bring children into the mix, do it with reverence, not rebellion.

Because they didn’t choose the path. You did.

Questions Worth Sitting With

Is polyamory harmful to children? While polyamory can work for some adults, most developmental research emphasises the importance of stable, secure attachment to primary caregivers. Three-parent dynamics often introduce complexity, triangulation, and emotional inconsistency — factors that can compromise a child’s sense of safety and identity during critical developmental phases.

Can secure attachment exist in non-traditional family structures? In theory, yes — but it requires extraordinary levels of emotional maturity, co-regulation, and consistency from all caregivers. In practice, most experimental or evolving relationships struggle to provide the predictability children need. The question isn’t whether it’s theoretically possible. It’s whether the conditions are actually present.

Is ayahuasca a reliable guide for major life decisions? Ayahuasca can reveal deep emotional truths, but these should be understood as starting points for integration, not absolute commands. Without grounded follow-through, psychedelic insights can become spiritual bypassing — or projections of unresolved trauma and desire dressed in the language of revelation. Abraham didn’t sacrifice his son. That’s the point.

What does the science say about children and secure attachment? Extensive research — Bowlby, Ainsworth, Beebe and others — shows that children thrive when emotional responses are consistent, boundaries are clear, and primary caregivers are attuned and present. Secure attachment correlates with better mental health, social development, immune function, and life outcomes across the lifespan. It is not optional. It is foundational.

If You’re Carrying This

If you were raised in a household where adult spiritual experiments took precedence over your need for safety — you’re not alone. The confusion, the divided loyalties, the sense that love was conditional on going along with something you didn’t choose: these are real wounds, and they can be healed.

At Vine of the Soul Retreats, we work with attachment trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and the kind of deep integration that plant medicine can open but can’t complete on its own.

If this resonates — let’s talk.

Sources:

• Ainsworth, M. D., Blehar, M., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
• Beebe, B., Jaffe, J., Markese, S., et al. (2010). “The origins of 12-month attachment: A microanalysis of 4-month mother-infant interaction.” Attachment & Human Development, 12(1-2), 3–141. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20390524/
• Chopik, W. J., O’Brien, E., & Konrath, S. H. (2017). “Associations among relational values, support, health, and well-being across the adult lifespan.” Personal Relationships. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/pere.12187
• Fisher, H. E., Aron, A., & Brown, L. L. (2006). “Romantic love: A mammalian brain system for mate choice.” Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B, 361, 2173–2186. https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rstb.2006.1938
• Jung, C. G. (1952). Answer to Job. Rascher Verlag.
• Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L., & Schechinger, H. A. (2017). “Unique and shared relationship benefits of consensually non-monogamous and monogamous relationships.” European Psychologist, 22(1), 55–71. https://doi.org/10.1027/1016-9040/a000278

Most people arrive at a psychedelic retreat psychologically prepared. They’ve set intentions, done the reading, maybe worked with a therapist. What almost no one considers is the body — and whether it is biochemically ready to receive what the medicine offers.

That gap is one of the strongest predictors of how a ceremony unfolds. Getting the right supplements before a psychedelic retreat isn’t wellness optimization. For people carrying burnout, depression, or chronic stress, it’s nervous system rehabilitation — and it can be the difference between an experience that heals and one that overwhelms.

What Is Actually Happening in Your Brain During Ceremony

All classic psychedelics — psilocybin, DMT, ayahuasca, mescaline — create their primary effects by binding to the serotonin 2A receptor (5-HT2A) in the prefrontal cortex. But the neurochemical cascade that follows is far more demanding than a single receptor interaction.

Serotonin is massively redistributed, affecting mood, memory, and emotional processing simultaneously. Glutamate surges, stimulating BDNF — brain-derived neurotrophic factor, the driver of neuroplasticity and trauma rewiring. Oxytocin rises. The limbic system activates fully, processing suppressed material that may have been stored somatically for decades.

This is an immense metabolic event. The brain burns through ATP, neurotransmitters, and their key cofactors — magnesium, B vitamins, omega-3 fatty acids — at an accelerated rate. If those reserves are depleted going in, the experience doesn’t just become harder. It becomes less healing.

Why a Depleted Nervous System Struggles With Plant Medicine

Burnout, depression, and chronic stress are not only psychological states. They live in the body as measurable biochemical depletion: dysregulated cortisol, elevated neuroinflammation, exhausted neurotransmitter precursors.

When someone in this state enters a ceremony, the medicine amplifies what’s already there. The window of tolerance — the neurological range in which experience can be processed, not merely endured — narrows. Instead of flowing through insight, they fight through chaos.

You see it across ceremonies: journeys that are dense and disjointed, dissociation, emotional flooding with no capacity to integrate what’s emerging. And after: low mood, brain fog, fractured sleep, and insights that evaporate before they can take root. Not because the medicine failed. Because the physical vessel wasn’t ready.

This is why preparing the body with the right supplements before a psychedelic retreat matters as much as preparing the mind. Healing requires a stable substrate. Integration requires a regulated nervous system.

The 4 Foundational Supplements Before a Psychedelic Retreat

These are not exotic interventions. They are targeted nutritional support for the specific biochemical demands of a psychedelic ceremony — and for the integration window that follows.

1. Magnesium Glycinate or Threonate

Magnesium is involved in over 300 enzymatic reactions, including serotonin synthesis and the GABA-glutamate balance that becomes critical during peak ceremony states. It reduces neuroinflammation, supports emotional regulation, and deepens the slow-wave sleep where integration actually happens.

Chronic stress depletes magnesium rapidly. Estimates suggest up to 50% of Western adults are subclinically deficient — depleted but not diagnosably so. It is the single highest-leverage supplement in this protocol and the one to prioritize if you can only do one.

• Glycinate form: best absorption, minimal GI effects
• Threonate form: crosses the blood-brain barrier; preferred for cognitive and emotional regulation
• Dose: 200–400mg | Timing: Evening, 1–2 hours before sleep

2. Activated B-Complex

B vitamins are cofactors in almost every step of neurotransmitter synthesis. Without adequate B6, the brain cannot produce serotonin or GABA efficiently. Without B12 and folate, methylation — the process that regulates mood, detoxification, and gene expression — breaks down.

The activated forms matter. Many people carry MTHFR gene variants that prevent conversion of synthetic B vitamins into usable forms. Activated versions — P5P, methylcobalamin, methylfolate — bypass this entirely and are essential for anyone who has struggled with mood, fatigue, or treatment resistance.

• Dose: 1 capsule activated B-complex | Timing: Morning, with breakfast

3. Omega-3 Fatty Acids (DHA + EPA)

DHA integrates directly into neuronal cell membranes, improving how efficiently neurons communicate — particularly relevant during the heightened connectivity state that psilocybin and ayahuasca produce. EPA is primarily anti-inflammatory, targeting the chronic neuroinflammation that accumulates in people carrying unresolved trauma.

In the post-ceremony integration window — a period of elevated neuroplasticity — omega-3s become even more important. Neuroplasticity requires a healthy neural substrate, and DHA is its primary building block.

• Dose: 1,000mg combined DHA + EPA (high-quality fish or algae oil) | Timing: With meals

4. Glycine

Glycine is the quietest and most underestimated supplement in this protocol. As an inhibitory neurotransmitter it smooths emotional intensity during and after ceremony. It supports liver detoxification — especially relevant with ayahuasca. And it enhances slow-wave sleep in the critical nights after ceremony, when the subconscious continues to process and integrate.

• Dose: 2–3g | Timing: Evening, in warm water or with dinner

When to Start — and How Long to Continue

Begin: 7–14 days before your retreat. This allows biochemical reserves to meaningfully replenish, not just top up.

Continue: For at least 2–4 weeks post-retreat — the full neuroplasticity window, when insights are most available to become lasting change. If you purchase a month’s supply, finish it.

All four supplements are compatible with the ayahuasca dieta, provided you choose clean formulas without synthetic fillers or additives.

If You Can Only Start With One

One supplement: Magnesium. Within 7–14 days it can meaningfully shift anxiety, sleep quality, and emotional reactivity. Add a second: Activated B-complex — mood, energy, neurotransmitter foundation. Add a third: Omega-3s — neuroinflammation and integration capacity. Add the fourth: Glycine — sleep depth and emotional smoothing, especially if these are significant concerns.

The Larger Container: Body, Mind, and Ongoing Support

Supplements stabilize the biochemistry. But the deeper work — processing what the medicine reveals, keeping the nervous system regulated through the weeks that follow, translating insight into lasting change — requires more than a supplement stack.

At Vine of the Soul Retreats, our approach to psychedelic-assisted therapy is built on the understanding that integration cannot happen without a stable nervous system, and that mental wellbeing can only fully emerge inside a healthy body. The supplements in this article are the first step in that preparation.

For clients who want structured support through every phase — before, during, and after their retreat — our BioPsyche Renewal Protocol AI Companion is available as a responsive web app. It offers personalized Resonance Menus of micro-practices built for people without bandwidth for lengthy routines, nervous system regulation tools drawn from Polyvagal-informed clinical practice, emotional processing support, nutritional guidance, and daily wellbeing tracking. Already in use with our retreat guests, it extends the held container of the ceremony into the weeks and months where real integration happens.

The plant medicines open a door. A prepared, nourished body — and real support for what comes after — is what allows you to walk through it.

Vine of the Soul Retreats offers psychedelic-assisted therapy retreats in Portugal (Algarve), Spain, and the Netherlands, guided by the BioPsyche Renewal Protocol. Maximum 8 guests per retreat. Rated 4.7★ on Trustpilot, 5★ on Google Reviews, BookRetreats, and Retreat Guru, and 5★ across 49 reviews on ReviewMyRetreat.

Curious whether a retreat is right for you? Get in touch here.

What now – how to choose an Ayahuasca retreat? Where will you find the right retreat for you? Are all retreats the same? (Spoiler alert: no.) How can you make sure you’ll have the best possible experience? How can you make sure you will be able to feel safe, so you can dive deep into your journey and not worry about a thing? In other words, how do you choose the right retreat for yourself?

Since Ayahuasca originates in the Amazon, and you heard about shamans who offer this magical brew to whomever is ready to embark on this journey, your first impulse might be to buy your tickets to Peru, or Costa Rica, Colombia, or Brazil. With the consistent decline in mental health, and the failure of modern medicine to provide a sustainable solution to it, many people are looking for alternative methods. To respond to this increasing demand, the number of shamans and retreat centres has increased significantly over the last couple of years. But is the traditional way always the best? And to what extent is the traditional way still traditional?

I’m not writing this article to convince you either way — my aim is to inform you, dear reader, so you can choose what’s best for you. And part of informing you honestly means naming something the industry rarely says out loud: the rapid growth of this space has outpaced its ethical development. When vulnerable people in non-ordinary states of consciousness are the clientele, the responsibility carried by retreat operators is not ordinary. It scales with the power differential — and that differential is enormous. A guest mid-ceremony cannot advocate for themselves the way they can in any other consumer context. Which means the burden of care falls entirely on the people holding the space.

At Vine of the Soul Retreats we respect the wisdom that has been passed on from generation to generation over thousands of years. More than that, we collaborate with Shamans whom we share the same values with. Those values are:

• integrity — as in walking the talk, which is embodied by every single member of our team
• safety — physical, mental, and energetical
• an end-to-end service — as in pre-retreat preparation, continuous kind support during the retreat, post-retreat integration and community building to be able to share your experiences long after the retreat

With this sentiment in mind, if you would like to experience an authentic shamanic retreat, we organise groups to Taita Juan in Colombia on a regular basis.

Your First Ayahuasca Retreat: Why Environment Matters More Than You Think

However, you don’t necessarily need to travel to the Amazon to have a transformative, healing, mystical experience. I believe that more often than not, it is better to have a first Ayahuasca experience in an environment that is closer to your usual one. Here’s why.

Imagine yourself in an altered state, having one of the most profound and somewhat scary experiences of your life, while being in the middle of nature, with all the usual creepy crawlers, the sounds of the jungle, in complete darkness. Your shaman might not speak your language. The amenities might be very basic. You don’t really know what to expect, the preparation is very basic (often due to the language barrier). There’s a feeling of mysticism in the air, that you can definitely perceive, but cannot make sense of. Even if there is no language barrier, the sharing circles that should help you make sense of the experience are often held in a — let’s call it magical, spiritual language framework. Often there is no post-retreat support. This is usually not due to mal-intent of the retreat leaders, but simply because they have a different lens through which they see reality. The people who are connected to the land, to their environment, to their ancestors, live in a world of magic that we are unable to see. For them it’s obvious that the plants and animals have spirits who communicate to us, while teaching and guiding us. Their ancestors are whispering to them through the wind and guide them through their dreams. The way they make sense of reality is inherently different from ours. And that’s the framework through which they will try to help you make sense of your experiences.

And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, this framework is incomplete — it’s not enough for the western mind. Because in the end you’ll come back to your “real life” and have to integrate here. You must make sense of your experience through a framework that is more practical to the lens you see the world through. This is where the language of psychology comes in, helping you make sense of your subconscious symbols. I guarantee you: it won’t take anything away from your experience. I’m not trying to take away the mystical, but to help you hold both the magic and the “real world” practicalities.

How to Choose an Ayahuasca Retreat: What the Stories Don’t Tell You

Through the many stories I hear from participants coming to our retreats, who have experienced Ayahuasca in the Amazon, to me it’s clear that it’s not always the best option. Many times introductory calls with these people turn into integration calls of the past experience. Someone once shared a story with me, how the participants needed to sign a liability waiver where one of the clauses stated that “the facilitators do not take responsibility if the participant is getting attacked by a jaguar.” Some others described ceremonies where the shaman was so deep in the medicine himself that he couldn’t attend to the participants’ needs. Another has reported how they were serving alcohol with the medicine, apparently for cleansing purposes.

These are not isolated curiosities. They are the predictable result of an industry growing faster than its accountability structures. The suffering that comes from a badly held ceremony — the re-traumatisation, the weeks of dysregulation, the experiences left without integration support — is largely preventable. That word matters: preventable. Which means choosing to ignore it is a choice, not an inevitability. As someone holding space in this field, I believe we have a collective obligation not just to avoid harm, but to actively build the conditions under which people can genuinely flourish — before, during, and long after the ceremony is over.

So if you do want to experience this in the Amazon, then a good option is to go for a well-established retreat, one of the big names. The downside is the price tag, and also the large groups, where personal contact suffers. The upside is your safety and better creature comforts.

At Vine of the Soul Retreats we hold space for you in a way that is nurturing, gentle, kind. There are always sober facilitators present, and we keep groups intentionally small — a maximum of eight guests and never fewer than four facilitators — so that no one gets lost in the crowd when they need support most. The retreat itself is embedded within the broader BioPsyche Renewal Protocol (Stabilize → Illuminate → Embody): a structured, trauma-informed framework that begins before you arrive and continues long after you leave. The medicine work sits inside the Illuminate phase, which means you come in with a regulated nervous system and leave with a real integration roadmap — not just a profound experience with nowhere to put it. If you live in Europe, our retreats in Portugal are also significantly more accessible than flying to the Amazon. And if you don’t resonate with our approach, we’re genuinely happy to recommend another centre we trust.

To find out more, watch our Q&A video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6IZm2zERUw

It wasn’t a typical romance, and I won’t flatten it by calling it “the love of my life” — because, frankly, I’m still alive, and life may still have a few surprises in store. But this connection was different. It had depth, texture, and a kind of sacred intentionality that felt extraordinary. We weren’t just playing roles or clinging to chemistry — we were doing work. Real work. Soul work.

We brought our wounds into the light, not to use them against each other, but to examine them with tenderness. We tried — genuinely tried — to see our conflicts not as failures, but as maps. And instead of blaming, we asked: what is this trigger pointing towards in me? What is still unhealed, unloved?

We had a shared mission, in a way — one that could almost fool you into thinking love could conquer anything. Us against unlove.

Until, eventually… it wasn’t.

Because somewhere along the way, he stepped back. Not violently, not dramatically. It wasn’t betrayal, and it wasn’t abandonment in the classic sense. It was, on paper, a consensual letting go. But the truth is — I wasn’t ready.

I had held onto the belief that we had found a model that could withstand anything. That if we stayed honest, curious, open, and willing, we could make it through any storm. And finding out that this wasn’t true — at least not with him — was its own kind of rupture.

There was no one to blame, really. Not him. Not me. Just a heartbreak that didn’t come from drama, but from the quiet collapse of something sacred. And that, in some ways, was even harder to metabolize.

When the Sacred Collapses

We didn’t scream. We didn’t wound each other on the way out. And yet, the silence that followed held an ache so vast it swallowed every reference point I thought I had. I had spent so long anchoring myself in the “we” — not out of co-dependence, but out of trust. I believed in the work we were doing, in our shared capacity to face whatever came up. And I trusted that even in the face of fear or contraction, we’d meet it with maturity and heart.

So when the ending came, and I was left alone — not in a dramatic storm, but in the eerie stillness of something that once pulsed with life — I didn’t know where to put the grief. There was no obvious rupture. No fight to rehash. Only the “why” and the slow, reluctant recognition that one of us had stopped holding the edge of the container. And it wasn’t me.

What made it even harder was the timing. My life was already stretched thin — physically, emotionally, spiritually. I was recovering from serious health challenges, rebuilding a retreat center from the ashes, processing betrayals I hadn’t seen coming, and trying to keep the vision alive for my team, myself, and my children.

In the middle of all that, losing this relationship — the one thing that had still felt solid — hit like an earthquake.

When the Medicine Lies — Or Tells a Different Truth

There was another layer to this loss that I haven’t spoken about publicly. One that felt too intimate, too vulnerable, too easy to misunderstand.

In ceremony, I had seen us. Not just in this life — across lives. A bond so old and so deep it felt less like romantic love and more like recognition. Like coming home to something ancient.

I know what you might be thinking. And yes — I know that ayahuasca doesn’t deliver objective truth. I’ve said it to guests a hundred times: the medicine shows us our fears and our deepest desires. It speaks in symbols, in longing, in the language of the psyche. I know this. I teach this.

And still, I believed it. Or at least — I needed to believe it. Because what I saw felt so real, so precise, so tenderly specific, that it bypassed every intellectual safeguard I had.

So when it ended, it wasn’t just heartbreak. It was a kind of spiritual betrayal. Not by him — but by the vision itself. By the story I had been carrying as sacred truth. The ground I thought was eternal turned out to be made of hope.

And underneath the grief, something older stirred. A child’s voice, fierce and exhausted:

“I am such a good girl. I do everything right. I show up, I stay open, I love with everything I have. And still — still — I am left. Again.”

That voice knew this feeling. It had been here before. Not with him, but in a thousand smaller moments across a lifetime of trying to earn safety through goodness. The world, it seemed, did not reward kindness. Openness was punished. Love was a debt that never got repaid.

I sat with that voice for a long time. Not to argue with it. Not to fix it. Just to let it be heard — probably for the first time.

Because here’s what I’ve come to understand, both personally and through the work I do: when a relationship ends and it breaks you open in this particular way — when it touches something ancient and pre-verbal — it’s rarely just about the person. It’s about every time before. Every abandonment, every diminishment, every moment your nervous system logged as evidence that you are fundamentally too much, or not enough, or somehow unworthy of the love you freely give.

The medicine didn’t lie to me. It showed me what I longed for most deeply. And in losing it — or the possibility of it — I found the wound that had been running the show all along.

That, I think, is the real alchemy.

Heartbreak as a Neurochemical Crash

The emotional pain was expected. I knew it would hurt — I just didn’t know how deep, or how physical, that hurt would become.

It wasn’t just sadness. It was apathy. It was depression. A heavy, slow fog that settled over everything. I had no energy, no motivation, no real sense of time moving. I wasn’t numb — I felt everything, maybe too much. The grief was sharp and constant, like a pressure behind my sternum that never let up.

And yes — I cried. A lot. Sometimes with meaning. Sometimes just because my body didn’t know what else to do.

The self-loathing came in quietly. Not dramatic, not theatrical — just this slow, grinding erosion of self-worth. And while some people lose their appetite in heartbreak, I go the other way. I craved sugar, carbs, the emotional comfort of junk food. I hated it, and I hated myself for not being able to stop.

My sleep broke down. My nervous system stayed wired at night, tired in the morning. My body felt like it was running on smoke and stress. I knew, at some level, this was biochemical. That my system was crashing. But when you’re in it, knowing why barely helps.

Eventually, though, the “why” gave me something to hold onto. Because heartbreak like this isn’t just emotional. It’s physiological.

Romantic bonding releases a potent blend of neurochemicals: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins. When that bond breaks, the system crashes. And withdrawal kicks in. Understanding that helped me see the cravings, the compulsions, the emotional volatility — not as weakness, but as chemistry. And that shift made space for something else to begin.

The First Ritual: Mushrooms and the Decision to Live

When I realized I couldn’t think or cry my way out of the hole I was in, I turned to what I know I can rely on when nothing else works: ceremony. I entered a mushroom journey — not to reconnect with him, not to ask the universe for closure, but to reclaim myself.

And in the beginning, I did fight him. In that ceremonial space, I felt the weight of his absence and the energetic threads still tying me to him. I let that battle happen. I let my system shake him out, tear him off, purge the psychic residue.

And then, the focus shifted.

It became about me. Not the broken-hearted me. Not the woman left behind. But the woman still here. Still alive.

That journey took me somewhere I didn’t expect: into a deep curiosity about how I could support myself. Not just to stop hurting, but to start thriving. To live fully. To live longer. It dropped me straight into the rabbit hole of longevity.

Truth be told, I already knew that supplements, nutrition, and certain tools could help me. But that ceremony gave me something else entirely: the will to help myself. The desire to become strong again. And that shifted everything.

The Collision of Worlds: Love, Language, and the Nervous System

One of the hardest things to digest after the separation wasn’t the loss itself — it was the confusion. The cognitive dissonance. I kept circling the same questions:

• How can someone say they love me… and still not want to be with me?
• How can we share the same words but live in completely different realities?

Because when I say “I love you,” it means I’m in it. I’m all in. I show up, I stay, I go deep. I choose the hard conversations, the vulnerability, the shared vision.

But for him, love meant something different. Affection, care, softness, gentleness — yes. But not necessarily commitment. Not building. Not staying.

Once I saw that we were operating with different definitions of love, things started to click.

And then came the understanding of attachment styles. His being insecure. Mine being the rock. The one who tried to hold the container steady so he could feel safe. And ironically, that very steadiness may have pushed him away. Not because I was too much. But because, to a nervous system unfamiliar with safety, real intimacy can feel like danger.

It took me some time to internalize that. But once I did, a layer of unworthiness dropped off. I didn’t fail. We just weren’t wired to dance together long-term.

The Addiction Loop: Loving the Hit, Starving for the Safety

Even with all that insight, the cravings didn’t stop immediately. There was still the loop. I’d find myself replaying conversations, reading his poetry, scanning for meaning, checking my phone for a message I knew wouldn’t come. It wasn’t longing. It was compulsion.

Romantic love doesn’t just live in the heart — it lives in the limbic system. In the hormonal circuits of reward and memory. And when it’s gone, the body doesn’t just miss it. It aches.

Once I named it for what it was — withdrawal — I could start to loosen its grip. Not perfectly. But sometimes. And those “sometimes” started to add up.

The Turn: From Craving to Cellular Clarity

After weeks of looping, crashing, craving, and shaming myself for it, I stopped trying to feel better. I started trying to feel stronger.

Not emotionally. Biochemically.

Because I knew that clarity comes after energy. And energy comes from the mitochondria.

So I went practical: supplements to feed my cells, fasting and a low-sugar diet to reduce inflammation, red light therapy, movement — not forced, but invited.

But the biggest shift? I chose kindness. I let myself grieve, eat the bread, skip the training, cry in the car. And I didn’t make it mean I was failing. I was just going through a process. And the more the kind part of me grew stronger — not blaming myself for failure — the more I started to do the things that were actually good for my body and mind.

The Porch Moment

Two weeks into my protocol, I was sitting on the porch. No ritual. No journal. Just me and the sun and a cup of tea.

And suddenly, I felt… okay. Not euphoric. Not healed. Just me.

The thought came gently, not as a judgment, but a kind of astonished tenderness:

“Where was I this whole time?”

And the answer, of course, was: buried. Behind the noise. Behind the chemicals of grief and heartbreak. But not gone.

The Return

That moment on the porch wasn’t about triumph. It was about presence.

It was about finally being able to hear my own inner signal after weeks of static. I wasn’t fixed. But I was back.

And that made me realize — a lot of healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you were before your system went into emergency mode. The heartbreak didn’t make me better. But it stripped away the distractions.

And it brought me home.

The Alchemy of Loss

People like to wrap heartbreak up with platitudes. That it makes you stronger. That it was meant to happen. That love will find its way back.

But here’s what I know:

Alchemy is not poetic. It’s not clean. It’s not gentle. It’s messy.

It’s violent, sacred dissolution. It’s death and rebirth without the Instagram glow filter.

And still, it leaves you with gold.

Not because you found closure. But because you found you.

This loss didn’t teach me that I was unlovable. It reminded me how deeply I love. How willing I am to show up, to see, to stay. It reminded me that I don’t want a relationship that asks me to shrink.

And it taught me how to help others walk through this fire with more tools, more self-respect, and more softness.

Because heartbreak isn’t a weakness. It’s an opening.

And on the other side, you might just find that the person you were always looking for — was you.

If you’re walking through heartbreak right now, I see you. And I promise — there is a way through.

If plant medicine has shown you something about love, loss, or your own longing — and you’re not sure what to do with it — we should talk.

Ayahuasca as an aid in the healing of depression

Mental health today

With rising levels of depression in this fast paced world, many look at alternative methods to tackle their mental health and wellbeing. Medicine fails us at many levels. Antidepressants and other medication may alleviate the symptoms temporarily, but they do not address the root cause.
Psychedelic substances like psilocybin, ketamine and MDMA are being gradually legalized in more and more countries, for the treatment of conditions like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Anxiety Disorders and Depression.
What about Ayahuasca and depression? Can Ayahuasca help with Depression? In this article we talk about this topic, the possible benefits and the risks involved. (Find out more about Ayahuasca in our FAQ section.)

Why would someone with depression want to consider taking Ayahuasca?

In our experience many people see Ayahuasca as the last resort. They have tried psychotherapy with modest results, they have maybe even tried antidepressants, but they just could not reach the life quality that they where looking for. It is only natural for each human being to seek a certain level of peace and happiness. Some do not want to go down the medication path, for the fear of a lifelong addiction to the medication. Others intuitively know that, while the antidepressant medication can work wonders short term, it does not eliminate the root cause, thus may not be a long-term solution. Which brings us to the next topic.

What are typical causes for depression?

For a long time it was believed that there is a genetic component to depression, meaning that if you had someone in your family with depression, your risk of experiencing depression would be higher. As a consequence, the treatment approach tended to be somewhat shallow, since by not looking into other possible root causes, the only solutions would lie in managing the condition, not in actually healing it.
Recent studies however show, that the correlations are more complex then that. In simple words, it is not that the genetics where necessarily past on - not everyone who has a depressed parent, will experience depression. But if you grew up with a depressed parent, it is likely that you have not had the nurturing environment that you needed as a child, thus developing depression in life as a result of childhood trauma.
But obviously not only depression in the parents cause childhood trauma. And what is trauma anyway? Trauma is not only the negative things that affected you as a child, but also the positive things that you may have missed, the nurturing that should have happened and did not happen.
Then of course, not everyone who has experienced childhood trauma, will get depressed later in life. Which closes the loop: when looking at depression, there are always several factors for the onset. Here are some them:

• There are studies who show a clear correlation between gut health and depression.
• There are studies who show a direct correlation between a vegetarian/vegan diet and depression. (Sorry for the bad news beautiful souls, but you need to be very mindful of your nutrients when on a long-term vegetarian/vegan diet. Make sure you get all your essential amino acids, as well as minerals and vitamins.)
• Low levels of vitamin D can cause depression.
• A burn-out that has not been addressed can cause depression.
• One of the consequences of frequent sleep deprivation is depression.
• Grief, physical illness, divorce, addiction, financial problems, everything that causes high levels of stress are all factors of depression. 

However, studies also show, that someone who grew up in a nurturing environment, naturally has a higher resilience to deal with stressful situations, then someone who grew up in an environment with a lot of distress. In fact it was shown that the more Adverse Childhood Experiences someone experienced, the higher the risk of physical and mental illness later in life.
So then, how can Ayahuasca help?

Ayahuasca and depression

First things first, Ayahuasca is not a panacea, a miracle cure. You should be wary of statements that suggest that Ayahuasca (or for that matter any psychedelic substance, be it in a ceremonial or a clinical setting) will be the cure for your condition. Also statements like “Ayahuasca is like 10 years of therapy in one session” are not necessarily useful. Some people will experience very fast results indeed, while others might struggle for months or years even. We would all wish for an over-night betterment of our lives. But it is slightly more complicated then that, since taking Ayahuasca, will not change your life-circumstances, YOU will have to change the life-circumstances that are not conducive to your healing.
What Ayahuasca (and other psychedelic substances) does is that it allows you to gain a new perspective on your life, on your trauma, on your unique circumstances. It is an experience specifically tailored to you. It is typical for the depressed person to have a narrow view on their possibilities. Ayahuasca can open up, loosen those narrow perspectives. It can support you with the healing of the inner child, so that the grown up person can make better decisions. It can help you see things in a more positive manner. It can help you find the strength to feel through the negative feelings that you have been repressing, so you can heal. It can help you see the reasons for your addiction(s) thus supporting the healing.
But in 99% of the cases, it does not happen overnight. You will have to critically look into all areas of your life. This could mean tackling questions like:

• Am I truly ready to come out of the victimhood and take back my life? Many times there is a subconscious block, that sabotages the determination for healing. That needs to be uncovered and removed.
• Do I have a happy relationship/marriage, where I feel supported? Many depressed people find that they are in relationships that trigger their trauma. However, loneliness is also a factor for depression. Human beings need connection. That does not necessarily need to be in a marriage or partnership, but the more isolated you are, the more depressed you could be. In situations where there are no supportive friends or families, a support group might be a temporary solution.
• Do I like my job, is it meaningful? It was shown that having a meaningful purpose will increase mental wellbeing.
• Are my close friends and relatives supportive or are they dragging me down? Often the expectations from our family and friends are completely different than our own needs and desires.
• Do I eat a healthy diet? Am I drinking or smoking to much? Most depressed people are struggling in these areas. That affects their physical health, deepening the mental struggle.
• Am I suppressing feelings like guilt, shame, anger, helplessness? By suppressing the negative feelings (and we do so because they are too painful), we also suppress the positive feelings.
• Do I love myself and make good decisions for myself or do I criticize myself often? Many times we are more critical of ourselves, than we are of others. But in order to heal, we need to create a loving, nurturing internal environment. Self-loathing and criticism have a huge negative impact on our physical and mental health.
• Do I have enough time for myself, for exercise, for hobbies, for spending time in nature? Often we are there for others and never have time for ourselves.
• Do I feel empowered over my life? Do I have a sense of choice, of possibilities for change? The feeling of helplessness can be very overwhelming, leading to depression.
• Am I good with keeping healthy boundaries? Often we live the life of others, by doing what is expected of us, instead of following our own desire.
• Do I understand my needs and wants? Sometimes we are so disconnected from ourselves, that we don’t even know what we want. We just follow. But that can only lead to a feeling of disempowerment and misery.
• Are there any physical factors to the depression, like poor gut health, hormonal imbalance, low levels of essential amino acids, minerals and vitamins? Even if I have worked on my childhood trauma and all the negative factors in my life, there might be biological factors to the depression. In fact they might be a consequence of the depression and need to be addressed for a full recovery.

Ayahuasca can open the door for you to deeply understand yourself and how you relate to these topics, but you have to walk through it. If you go back to life as usual, no amount of Ayahuasca will help you. There has to be a strong desire (also called intention, when working with Aya), paired with the decision to do whatever change is necessary. This might sound as too much to do, especially to the depressed person. But this is where Ayahuasca (with the aid of the facilitators that you work with) steps in: it can help you gain strength and determination. It can help you heal the underlying pain and can help you see yourself through a new pair of eyes. When people follow these steps, they regain full control of their life and their internal environment within months. Even autoimmune diseases like allergies or psychosomatic pain tend to disappear, when following this holistic approach.

What are the risks and contra-indications?

Ayahuasca cannot be taken if on antidepressants, or if you have high blood-pressure or a heart condition. There are extensive lists of medications that in conjunction with Ayahuasca pose a health risk or can even be deadly.
Also, suicidal ideation is often a topic with depression. Ayahuasca tends to bring up all the negative emotions that are repressed, which sometimes means that for a couple of days or even weeks after taking Aya, it might get worse, before it gets better. Of course, this is a natural healing process of the psyche, but for the depressed person it can be very unsettling and the suicidal thoughts can become stronger. It can also bring up repressed memories of the cause of the trauma.
This is why a good screening and evaluation of the persons mental state is imperative. Making sure the person is supported through this phase, mental preparation and a very good integration is absolutely necessary. In lay words, you can only take Ayahuasca, if you are in a somewhat stable state.
That being said, one must not despair. Tools as meditation, psychotherapy or Rapid Transformational Therapy and even spirituality, can help people prepare to hold the Ayahuasca experience and the findings that come with it. Bringing the person to a place where they are ready to take on the challenge, paired with integration support holds the key to success!
If you feel ready to embark on this amazing journey, check out our Contact section and schedule a call with us, so we can evaluate your situation and give you advise for your next steps.

Ayahuasca is a concoction made of (usually) 2 plants from the Amazon, used by the indigenous people for thousands of years, to treat physical and emotional ailments. Also, people tend to refer to one of the plants used in the brew as “the Ayahuasca vine”, the botanical name being Banisteriopsis Caapi. The other plant used in the brew is usually the Psychotria Viridis, also known as “Chacruna”. When prepared together, in a long and tedious cooking process, these two plants will send the drinker on a psychedelic journey, where they will get insights into their emotional or physical trauma.
So how does this “magic” work? The Chacruna contains a psychedelic substance called DMT (Dimethyltryptamine), a substance that is endogenous to the human body. Recent studies show that the human body produces  DMT levels comparable to serotonin , however it is very quickly broken down by our body through a process called Mono Amino Oxidase, so we do not notice the psychedelic effect. Here is where the Ayahuasca vine steps in: it contains a so called Mono Amino Oxidase Inhibitor, which basically makes the DMT in the Chacruna active.

Myth 1: Ayahuasca is an illegal hallucinogenic drug
Facts: well, not necessarily. Regarding the illegal part, the brew or the plant is explicitly illegal only in a couple of countries around the world. What is illegal is DMT, which puts the brew in many countries in a grey zone from a legal point of view. As a schedule I drug in most countries, it is illegal to use or own DMT. Which of course is absurd, considering that our body produces it, as do countless plants and animals around the world. Science believes that DMT plays an important role in dreaming.

Regarding the hallucination part, a definition of hallucination is:
“A sight, sound, smell, taste, or touch that a person believes to be real but is not real.”
Although the Ayahuasca experience tends to heighten the senses, the subject always knows what is real and what is not. It’s like dreaming and being awake at the same time. Ayahuasca can send the drinker into unimaginable beautiful sceneries, geometries, patterns, stories, past or future lives, but at any time the subject will know that this imagery is happening inside his/her mind, not outside of the subject.

Myth 2: Ayahuasca is placebo or “woowoo”
Fact: Although there is not so much research on Ayahuasca as there is on Psilocybin (aka magic mushrooms) or MDMA (aka Extasy), the research done so far shows measurable physiologic changes going on in the body during an Ayahuasca session. There’s a change in brainwave activity, which can have a long lasting change on the subject. It is comparable to peak experiences of meditating Buddhist monks. It restores homeostasis and it is believed to balance right and left brain, that is emotion and logic.
It was shown that during an Ayahuasca experience the so called “default mode network” of a person is less active, allowing other areas of the brain to be more active. In this state a person is able to review certain aspects of his/her life, from different points of view. In the case of trauma, this can initiate a healing process for the subject. As we know from hypnotherapy, dialing down the default mode network gives the subject easier access to parts of the subconscious mind, thus enabling them to see and “reprogram” certain patterns or behaviors.

Myth 3: Ayahuasca is like 10 years of therapy in one session = it will solve all my problems
Facts: Just as the body, the psyche also has the ability to heal, given the right conditions. As with physical ailments, healing the psyche may imply changing lifestyle choices or habits. Ayahuasca will show you the trauma underlying your pain, unwanted behavior or limiting belief. It will raise your awareness and it will give you tools to handle the triggers, but you have to do the work.

Example: let’s say someone takes Ayahuasca to rid themselves of depression. Ayahuasca will show them the underlying trauma — for example this person was constantly verbally abused in childhood by it’s parents. That is the original wounding, resulting in low self esteem. Now this person is in a relationship with a partner that is also verbally abusive, because this was the mental image of a relationship, this behavior was familiar. In order to heal the depression, this continuous trigger has to reside. So either our subject is learning to draw clear boundaries or they need to separate. Both these scenarios can be very difficult, but if our subject does not do these life changes, the Ayahuasca can not help them. So in this particular case it may be beneficial to work with an integration coach or a therapist to build up the strength and resilience to make these changes. It may also take a couple of more Ayahuasca sessions to solve this. But the real work is not drinking the Ayahuasca, but integrating the learnings into ones daily life.

Myth 4: Ayahuasca is addictive
Facts: There is no physical addiction to Ayahuasca. Period. Also, adding to the horrible taste of the brew, taking Ayahuasca is physically and mentally draining. It can involve vomiting, diarrhea, nausea and head aches. Also it brings up repressed emotions, like pain, grief, anger, all those emotions we tend to avoid feeling. It is definitely not a walk in the park. That being said, many people do choose to come back to Ayahuasca, for healing, but also for advice, for creativity and for the peak experience itself. Once someone worked through their pain and trauma, it tends to become a more mystical experience, connecting you to God or the universe or giving you insights on the nature of reality. There are people who take Ayahuasca once and then never again and then there are those who take it yearly or once in a while.

Myth 5: You must go to the jungle to experience Ayahuasca
Facts: Although taking Ayahuasca in the jungle with a well intentioned, experienced shaman can be a life changing experience, most tend to forget that we, as westerners, lack the spiritual framework (language) that the indigenous people of the Amazon have. Whereas for us an altered state of consciousness is something extraordinary, the people of the Amazon feel connected to their environment and have a completely different perception. In their eyes, the plants have a sprit that speaks to them. The souls of their ancestors are showing themselves in the form of birds and animals to give them signs and wisdom. Planet earth is a living being, the mother of all things earthly. Lacking this understanding (language), in order to make most of this extraordinary experience, an integration framework is needed that is closer to our understanding, for example psychology. Using the psychological framework and western understanding of the subconscious, we are able to give meaning to these powerful experiences and thus integrate the teachings into our life.

If you have been contemplating on taking a deep dive with this wonderful medicine, somewhere in a supervised ceremonial setting, look no further. At  Vine of the Soul Retreats, the best of two worlds collide: proven ancient medicine with todays knowledge. Check it out and stay healthy!

A study done by the CDC in the late ’90s shows that there is a direct correlation between negative experiences in childhood and later health issues, both mental and physical. Also ACE has been linked to premature death. It was also shown that these experiences change the physiology of the brain.
So what does that mean in lay terms? It simply means that the worse your childhood was, the more you are likely to struggle in life with things like:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Autoimmune disorders (like asthma, eczema, allergies, cancer, MS, ALS…)
• High stress levels
• Addiction (alcoholism, smoking, drugs, sex, work, gambling, shopping…)
• Rumination, circling thoughts
• Week immune system
• Insomnia
• etc.

If you suffer from any of these, first of all, know it is not your fault and you are not the only one. Second know that  it is not a life sentence . Yes, you heard me right, you can recover from any of these. Some might be more difficult and might require a lot of time and effort, but all of these are completely reversible. It’s not me saying that, it’s countless studies and cases that were documented. (Please also refer to the work of Dr. Gabor Mate and Dr. Joe Dispenza. You can find a ton of good information on YouTube.)
So, why then is not everybody doing this healing work? Well, in my subjective view there are two aspects here.

• The one is that we were brainwashed into thinking that only a medical doctor can help us and when they reach the limit of their possibilities, it’s done. That’s it, game over. I have the utmost respect for western medicine, but it does have it’s limitations, because it is not looking at a human as a whole, as a system. It separates the mind from the body, the human from it’s environment and regards every organ separately.
• Second, the moment we realize we have the power to heal, that kind of empowerment can be very frightening. Because in this case we ourselves are responsible for our healing, not a doctor, not God, not any outside force. We need to switch from the victim, to the powerful being that we are and that is scary. Because then we can not blame and complain anymore, but have to do the work. I’ve been there, I know what I’m talking about.

The participants of the ACE study would answer the following 10 questions and would get a point for each question answered affirmatively. The higher the score, the greater the possibility of negative consequences in adults.

The questions are as follows:

1. Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? Or act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt?

2. Did a parent or other adult in the household often or very often… Push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? Or Ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured?

3. Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever… Touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? Or Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?

4. Did you often or very often feel that … No one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? Or Your family didn’t look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other?

5. Did you often or very often feel that … You didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? Or Your parents were too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it?

6. Were your parents ever separated or divorced?

7. Was your parent or caretaker: Often or very often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? Or Sometimes, often, or very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? Or Ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife?

8. Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs?

9. Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a household member attempt suicide?

10. Did a household member go to prison?

So, what’s your score? How do you think these childhood experiences affected you?

Whatever it is, just know that it can be healed, so the negative effects on you just stop. Schedule your introductory call with us, so we can evaluate your situation and define an action plan.